/ \
 

Uses 2101-2200
  1. Creamy PB -- Harmless Keep it in your underwear drawer so you can take it out and smell it while no one is looking.
  2. Grape Jelly -- Cool Get your Pb.D. in peanutbutterology.
  3. Creamy PB -- Harmless Use it to draw on instead of a whiteboard.
  4. Grape Jelly -- Cool Create rebar out of paper clips. Add PB to this paperclip frame. Build skyscrapers.
  5. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Add it to a butter churn to give it more resistance.
  6. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Make any note a sticky note.
  7. Creamy PB -- Harmless Bang your head on it to relieve stress.
  8. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Soothe diaper rash...
  9. Chunky PB -- Be Careful If your phone lacks a mute button, stick the receiver in PB while you look up that file...
  10. Grape Jelly -- Cool Write an e-mail to Scott Adams, challenging him to work in a week-long segment on peanut butter into the Dilbert strip.
  11. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Create a small CO2 gun with a large chamber so that you can fire globs of PB at the peanut-butter-for-brains network users that download porn onto the company server.
  12. Chunky PB -- Be Careful That's not peanut butter, Charlie Brown...
  13. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Bribe the Vatican into changing the Lord's Prayer to say, "Give us this day our daily peanut butter."
  14. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Add a little glob to the transmitter on the remote control to frustrate hubby into getting up and changing the channels by hand.
  15. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Store screwdrivers in it to keep them from rusting.
  16. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Volunteer to teach a night class on "PB Technology" at your local technical college.
  17. Creamy PB -- Harmless Spread the word that your jar of peanut butter is in direct competition with Microsoft. See if you get bought out.
  18. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Spread it on the floor of your workshop to catch sawdust.
  19. Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It! On the fourth of July, pack fireworks into a large jar of PB and light the fuse. (Admire from a distance...)
  20. Chunky PB -- Be Careful For your graduation, add a huge glob of PB to your hat. When question, explain that it's a mortarboard, and that's mortar on there.
  21. Grape Jelly -- Cool At that same graduation, have each graduate smear some peanut butter on his or her hand before shaking hands with the president. Have the valedictorian hand him a glass of milk.
  22. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Have a peanut butter spitting contest.
  23. Creamy PB -- Harmless Using peanut butter, explore ways to make peanut brittle less brittle.
  24. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal "I've got a jar of whoop-ass peanut butter... don't make me open this!"
  25. Creamy PB -- Harmless Subject it to wind tunnel tests. Argue the advantages of having peanut butter be more aerodynamic.
  26. Grape Jelly -- Cool I'm certain peanut butter would bounce under the right conditions. Wonder what those conditions are?
  27. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Heat it in the microwave, and spread it on sore muscles as a heat pack.
  28. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal A hot cup of chamomile peanut butter, that will cure what ails you...
  29. Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It! Prime your sump pump.
  30. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Lubricate paper clips with it to make them easier to use.
  31. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Lubricate coat hangers to make them easier to get apart.
  32. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Lubricate coat hangers to make it easier for them to, uh, reproduce.
  33. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Smear some around your ears so that you can make a perfect "acoustic seal" with the headphones.
  34. Grape Jelly -- Cool Speaking of acoustic, someone please drown all country music singers in a vat of boiling peanut butter. For the good of the world, you know.
  35. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Stop up the bells of Salvation Army bellringers.
  36. Grape Jelly -- Cool Peanut butter. 160 decibel Coast Guard diesel powered foghorn. Wonder what would happen?
  37. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Mow it.
  38. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Lawnmower muffler.
  39. Creamy PB -- Harmless Plaster it onto the trunks of Christmas trees to give them a "fuller" look.
  40. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal I'm dreaming of a brown Christmas...
  41. Grape Jelly -- Cool Wrap your presents in peanut butter before you wrap them in paper, just to make it harder for people to pinch their presents and figure out what they are.
  42. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Full Peanut Butter Jacket.
  43. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Grease your bicycle seat with it so you can get back in the saddle again...
  44. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal Eulogize it.
  45. Grape Jelly -- Cool Award it the Nobel Peace Prize.
  46. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Conduct experiments to see if PB will burn in an oxygen-poor atmosphere.
  47. Grape Jelly -- Cool Why TP a friends house when you can PB it, too?
  48. Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It! Roll it into a typewriter and see if you can type on it. (Use an old typewriter, OK?)
  49. Creamy PB -- Harmless Make handprints in it, and give it to Mom on mother's day.
  50. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Put a little on your comb to keep your hair from getting frizzy in the summer.
  51. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Coat a young child with peanut butter and turn them loose in your friend's (disgustingly pristine) white-carpeted house.
  52. Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It! Feed it to the cat to see if it causes flatulence.
  53. Blueberry Jam -- Surreal They make tuna-flavored laxative for cats. Why not peanut butter flavored laxative for humans?
  54. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Make peanut butter cups, using Ex-lax instead of chocolate...
  55. Creamy PB -- Harmless Make pick-up-sticks a tad more challenging.
  56. Chunky PB -- Be Careful Store a wad of it in your cheek. Spit occasionally.
  57. Grape Jelly -- Cool Sand isn't much of a hazard for a golf course. Peanut butter over quicksand would be much more interesting!
  58. Grape Jelly -- Cool Animate it using a stop-motion camera. Extra points if you can convince us it's eating New York.
  59. Grape Jelly -- Cool While you're at it, just bury New York in PB.
  60. Grape Jelly -- Cool Yoda: Talk can I not! Force-feed me peanut butter, do you?
  61. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] Put Peanut Butter in the gas tank of a "friend"...
  62. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Go to a stall in a public restroom. Lather your hand with extra chunky peanut butter. Reach under the stall to a person in an adjacent stall. Ask, "do you have any toilet paper?"
  63. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Fill wine glasses with different levels of peanut butter. Make music.
  64. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Write your doctoral dissertation on "Effects of Peanut Butter on Water Buffalo in Mid-Nineteenth Century America."
  65. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Put it on the cover of National Geographic.
  66. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Time Magazine's "Food of the Milennium."
  67. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] Mix with Noxynol-9 for teeny-bobber birth control.
  68. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] If the suggestions Andy gets for this list are any indication, Peanut Butter has a lot to do with sex. Is this a good thing? Talk among yourselves for a minute... should we be giving this to our children? Is it hope for the aged? You tell me...
  69. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] State funded "Peanut Butter Education" during health class for all Jr. High students.
  70. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] See how many people you can stick to the ceiling before the ceiling gives way.
  71. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Makes a nice Auburn toupee...
  72. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Simultaneously execute and embalm death-row criminals with it.
  73. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Wear it as a bikini. Periodically move the peanut butter to eliminate those pesky tan lines.
  74. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Theoretically, if you refill a bean-bag chair with peanuts, you'll eventually have a peanut butter chair...
  75. [Creamy PB -- Harmless] Grease pigs with it at the state fair to make them harder to catch.
  76. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Spread it on your little brother to make him harder to catch.
  77. [Creamy PB -- Harmless] Shoot down jars of it at a shooting gallery.
  78. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] Strap several jars of it to your chest, and get on an airplane. Once in the air, burst into the cockpit and threaten to "set these babies off!" if you are not immediately flown to Cuba.
  79. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Peanut butter jar lids are just so in this year...
  80. [Creamy PB -- Harmless] If you like making things out of beads, store the beads in peanut butter jar lids so that they don't scatter everywhere.
  81. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Hey, maybe if I leave some in my mailbox, then it will get all over the junk mail, and the ants will carry it away for me and...
  82. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Stick blobs of it on your boss's car.
  83. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Mix with cream hardener to see if it would be a good replacement for Bondo.
  84. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Empty several jars into your pants. Explain that you couldn't restrain yourself.
  85. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Hey, if the milion monkeys at a million keyboards theory were true, not only would we have all the worlds great literary works, but we'd be up to three thousand uses for peanut butter!
  86. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Leave it in a cabinet for several years. See if it develops into a sentient life-form.
  87. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Mix it with red wine and leave a glass of it on the table. Tell your teenage son that you will be gone for the night.
  88. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] If peanut butter in the gas tank doesn't work, how about peanut butter in the transmission...?
  89. [Creamy PB -- Harmless] Freeze dried peanut butter makes a tasty summer treat!
  90. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Paint your house in peanut butter, and use strawberry jam for the trim.
  91. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Stuff it in your shirt, sculpt it to look like muscle, and walk around savoring the results.
  92. [Creamy PB -- Harmless] Use it as a substitute for milk on your cereal.
  93. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Start a new fad: The peanut butter tuxedo.
  94. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] Give edible condoms a run for the money.
  95. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] It's the end of the peanut butter as we know it
             It's the end of the peanut butter as we know it
             It's the end of the peanut butter as we know it
             I feel fine...
  96. [Super Chunky PB -- Don't Do It!] Use it to assasinate your spouse.
  97. [Blueberry Marmelade -- Surreal] Like gag me with a spoon, fer sure, and make sure it has, like, peanut butter on it, like, ya know? Totally...
  98. [Grape Jelly -- Cool] Peanut butter pottery--the place settings you can eat!
  99. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Decorate a newlywed's car with it.
  100. [Chunky PB -- Be Careful] Smear it on your windows instead of shades.

1-100 | 101-200 | 201-300 | 301-400 | 401-500 | 501-600 | 601-700 | 701-800 | 801-900 | 901-1000 | 1001-1100   | 1101-1200 | 1201-1300 | 1301-1400 | 1401-1500 | 1501-1600 | 1601-1700 | 1701-1800 | 1801-1900 | 1901-2000 | 2001-2100 | 2101-2200 | 2201-2300 | 2301-2400 | 2401-2500 | 2501-2600 | 2601-2700 | 2701-2800 | 2801-2900 | 2901-3000 | 3001-3100 | 3101-3200 | 3201-3300 | 3301-3400 | 3401-end | submit a use | hall of fame | awards we've received | list all uses (350 k) | sort by rating | sort by use (coming soon)

© 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002 Andy Kerr and Nathan Eady. All rights reserved. Last updated December 28, 2003

\ /