PB2K: Uses 1201-1300

Uses 1201-1300

Write a novel about peanut butter.
From the makers of Peanut Butter Story, it's "A Jelly's Life".
Mighty Peanut Butter Young.
Invent a new internet protocal for transfer of peanut butter: pbtp://pb.peanut-butter.org/
Instead of mopping, coat the kitchen floor in peanut butter and dogsit for 12 young puppies.
Make a wreath out of peanut butter and hang it on the bathroom door every December.
Auction peanut butter on eBay.
Double Jeopardy category: "Peanut" Butter.
It's great when you have dental problems and get put on a liquid diet.
New twist on old yin-yang philosophy: In all Peanut Butter there is Jelly, and in all Jelly there is Peanut Butter.
Fill Teddy bears with it and sneak them onto store shelves as a practical joke. Call them "PB Cuddlers".
"Use the Peanut Butter, Luke"
Use it as a sermon illustration
Travel to a small nation with a lot of civil unrest; try to sell truckloads of peanut butter to the various powers striving to be recognised as the official government. Tell them, "The world will recognise that any government which sponsors international peanut butter is legitimate."
Advertise it as a new cure for AIDS. See how many people get a false sense of security from this.
When the year 2000 hits, the economy will come to a screeching halt. The only people who will survive will be those who thought ahead to keep a ten-year supply of peanut butter hidden in their basement. It won't do to run out in December of 1999 and buy a lot of peanut butter, either, because by then a lot of people will realise the dire situation, and there will be an international shortage as people suddenly rush to fill their larders.
Go to Florida right before a hurricane. Stand outside the supermarkets and loudly proclaim, "After last year's hurricane, the thing that really saved our family was peanut butter." Apologies to Dave Barry.
Send Dave Barry a case of peanut butter and see if he gives you an "alert reader" certificate.
Go to university; double major in underwater basket weaving and peanut butter administration.
PBUX: The newest brand of Unix.
Instead of spending all day at the mall, do all your Christmas shopping with peanut butter.
Dress yourself in Bermuda shorts, a lumberjack shirt, a striped tie, black socks, and Birckenstocks. Carry a jar of peanut butter under your right arm, hold the lid in your teeth, and keep your left hand inside the jar. Always walk backwards when you cross the street. Smile a lot, but ignore everyone. Stay within a six-block radius all day.
Sit in a tree and drop peanut butter onto anyone who tries to pass on the sidewalk below.
Make a web page all about peanut butter sandwiches and try to join an all-erotic-site web ring. If they ask how it relates, just tell them they really don't want to know.
"A, La, Peanut Butter Sandwiches!"
New alternative band: Peanut Butter Angst
New Peanut Butter flavor: Peanut Butter Angst
Ben and Jerry's goes PB....
Roll it, pat it, and mark it with "B" and put it in the oven for baby and me!
Instead of using those annoying steelie marbles, just squish peanut butter in your hands.
Its huggable! Its cuddleable! Its Peanut Butter Bear! (not for children under age of 2)
PB thinned with acetone, use it in your supersoaker... ouch!
"Fire department! My house is burning down!"
"We'll have the PB truck there immediately!"
Kitty stuck in a tree? No? Wish it was? heh-heh-heh!
Help your feathered friends: Secure their nest to the tree limbs with a good slathering of PB.
Stick a motherboard, hard drive, etc. into a giant PB glob. Taunt Microsoft about taking the world from them with your new creation...
PB95 Operating System... much more stable than Bill's...
Wartime: Out of hand grenades? Throw PB instead!
Put it in your pipe and smoke it!
"I did not share a jar of peanut butter with that woman..."
Every mutant in Marvel Comics got that way because a parent ate some bad peanut butter.
When the money is tight, our young hero Peter Parker substitutes peanut butter into his webbing formula...
The villians of Star Trek: Insurrection try to conquer a planet where there is a mystical fountain of peanut butter.
Mr Rogers: Boys and girls, are you ready to take a trip to the Neighborhood of Peanut Butter?
"It's a peanut buttery day in the neighborhood..."
As Mr Rogers sings the song, he eats a peanut butter sandwich.
"Rrts ma ppprut mmttera may m ma meiderhmmm..."
Look, boys and girls, it's everyone's favorite purple jar of peanut butter, Jiffy!
Boys and girls: Yea!
Jiffy: Oh golly gee! It's a PB-rific day for imagination!
Immerse Dave's keyboard in a vat of PB so he doesn't get carried away...
New in HTML5: <PB> The Peanut Butter Tag! </PB>
Use whipped peanut butter in place of mirangue.
Peanut butter can help you have lucid dreams. Every time you see peanut butter, do a reality check, no matter what; stop and make sure you know whether you're dreaming or not. Soon you will begin to do this in your dreams; you will then realize you are dreaming!
Add peanut butter as a new betting convention in Bridge.
Take it on road trips to tour the nation.
Take it on plane trips to tour the world.
Distill it.
Combine it with parrafin, liquid oxygen, and kerosene to see if you can make a really good rocket fuel.
Decongest this!
"I've got a jar of Peanut Butter! Don't make me open this!"
Use it as quilt batting.
Fill a cloth bag with it and use it as a pin cushion.
Sewing machine oil.
Use it to mask off areas you don't want to spray paint.
Smear it on fluorescent bulbs to eliminate the greenish tint.
Sculpt horns for those cow skulls you picked up in the desert.
Spray some on "When you just don't have time for a shower."
Use it to stick lettuce to the bottom of the tank when you're feeding your aquatic snail.
Rub it on your wrists if you have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
Put it in baggies and make wrist pads for your keyboard and mouse.
Sculpt some on your mouse to make it look more like a mouse.
Sculpt some on your mouse to make it look more like a moose.
Add some to Jell-O and see if you can make mousse.
Fill your pillow with it so it will conform to your head...
A glass of warm peanut butter just before bed will always help you sleep better.
Sculpt a huge peanut out of it. See if you can stick an elephant's mouth shut.
Amend the constitution to include the Right to Bear Peanut Butter.
I don't know about life, liberty, and happiness... but peanut butter sounds like a much more reasonable thing to have as an inalienable right.
Spread it all over the carpet, so you can record a burglar's footprints.
Spread it on the windowsill and cover it with suet to bring the winter birds closer.
Practice your beheading skills on a jar of peanut butter.
Pack it around your ears if you can't find your earmuffs.
Did I mention earplugs?
Eye salve.
If your culture calls for you to wear a gourd, use peanut butter to keep rough edges from chafing your skin.
It's yummy on pancakes...
Barbecue it.
Throw Barney into the peanut grinder at the factory and get Barney Butter.
Spread it on bacon for a snack.
Blow bubbles in it.
Perform the world's first peanut butter transfusion.
Pack it between the spokes of your bicycle. Show up at a bike race and maintain that it is a UCI-legal disk wheel.
Fill in the gaps behind your helmet with it to make you more aerodynamic.
Spread it on your legs to keep them warm on those chilly fall rides.
Commandeer the town's ice rink during the summer. Fill it up with peanut butter. Rent bowling shoes by the hour to would-be skaters.
Takes the "funny smell" out of bowling shoes.
Freeze it into a cup shape. Serve milk.
Find Mt. Carmel. See if you can call down peanut butter from Heaven.
"If you wish to send a jar of peanut butter to this address, press 1. If you wish to order a jar of peanut butter for yourself, press 2. If you wish to bury northern Indiana in a three-foot blanket of peanut butter, press 3."
*beeeep!*
"Thank you. To process this order, please press the pound sign."
*beeeep!*
Send it to Peter Schickele and see if P.D.Q. Bach wrote any pieces about peanut butter.
Salad dressing.
Rub it on your nose to keep your glasses from sticking to your nose.

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