PB2K: Uses 1101-1200

Uses 1101-1200

Mix with Borg technology; watch it assimilate everything.
We all know that Diet Coke floats and regular Coke sinks. (Or is it the other way around?) Devise a similar experiment with creamy and chunky.
Mix with applesauce in the blender so that grandpa can enjoy peanut butter on apples, too.
Spread it on the sidewalk. Pay neighbor kids to shovel it.
Make kitty-litter cake with it.
Parents ponder purchasing peanut butter perchance poverty, petty purloining, pestilence and puerile procreation partake the populace.
Put up peanut butter at Christmas instead of lights.
Put a thick layer on pipes and outdoor spigots to keep them from freezing.
Gas line anti-freeze.
Sand it.
Rout it.
Hammer it.
Cut it with your bandsaw.
Solder it.
Paint the house with it.
Have a Peanut Butter Yule Log.
Frost cakes with it.
Use it instead of chalk when performing on the uneven parallel bars.
Mix it with vodka to create PB shots.
Mix chunky with peach schnapps and orange juice to create a Fuzzy Navel Outie; If you have an innie, fill in your navel with peanut butter, call it a Fuzzy Adam or a Fuzzy Eve.
Codpiece.
Pad your bra with it. (Especially effective if you're a guy.)
Put some on your face when skiing to prevent windburn.
PB Bookmarks. (NIMBY)
Send it to a starving NBA player.
The official food of the NHL. (No teeth, no problem!)
Forget gingerbread houses at holiday time. Build PB mansions!
The secret ingredient in Mom's Killer Fruitcake.
Paint horses' tongues with it if they get sick.
Peanut Butter definitely needs its own Saturday morning cartoon.
Peanut Butter: The Movie. Coming soon to theatres near you.
Have your college Econ class read books about "Successfully Managing Your Peanut Butter".
Visit the Peanut Butter Traders page and put up descriptions of the PB you have to trade with other collectors.
There aren't nearly enough PB Beanie Babies. It's not enough to have the Gif the Peanut Butter. Now you also need Skippy the Creamy Peanut Butter and Nut the Crunchy Peanut Butter and Herman the Old Fashioned Peanut Butter. Jenny the Grape Jelly wouldn't hurt, too.
"Somebody sure must think we're special."
"Why's that?"

"Because we've got Premium Peanut Butter."

"Oh, yeah."

"Somebody sure must think we're special."

"It's our mommy."
If you're in a choir and forget the words, just lipsync "peanutbutter" continuously and nobody will know the difference.
There's a fortune to be made in thematic PB Mah Jong tiles.
Bored with ice hockey and field hockey? Try Peanut Butter Hockey!
"Mommy, mommy! I can't breathe through my nose!"
"Shut up or I'll stuff your mouth with peanut butter, too."
At your flea circus, have an act where a flea eats a flea-sized peanut butter sandwich with nothing to drink.
At a real circus, sell jars of peanut butter for outrageous prices so people can feed the elephants. Train the elephants to sneak up behind people and steal the jars and bring them back to the booth to be resold.
I've heard that a good way to stay awake late at night if you have to study is to eat peanut butter and coffee grounds sandwiches. (Um, I can confirm that... --Andy)
Have we mentioned Peanut Butter sauerkraut?
Strap jars of PB to strategic parts of your body, under your clothes, to make certain parts of your anatomy look larger. Be creative. Extra points if you actually convince anyone you were born with six limbs.
Instantly turn your regular glasses into sunglasses with just a quick dab of peanut butter on each lens.
Pad brick walls with it so you can kick them with less pain.
Put a full jar of peanut butter in the microwave; set it for the maximum amount of time at maximum power. Leave the house.
Hide some spare peanut butter under the floorboards in your attic just in case of emergency. Tell your grandchildren there's secret treasure hidden somewhere on your property.
There are now six vowels: a, e, i, o, u, and peanut butter.
Your peanut butter or mine?
Experiment with a tank of oxygen and a blender to see if you can get breathable peanut butter.
Who ya gonna call? PEANUT BUTTER!
Do a write-in vote for Skippy, with his running mate, Jiffy.
Fried Green Tomatoes with Peanut Butter on the side.
Give an extra-thick PB sandwich to Arnold Schwarznegger. See if his vocal quality changes.
Spray it over your fields, under the theory that it will suffocate any pests.
Export it to Europe. Lord knows I could have used some while I was over there.
Hollow out a book and keep a supply of peanut butter in it.
Memorize peanut butter labels. Go about quoting "The Gospel according to Skippy."
Market Captain Hook peanut butter. Insist that it be placed next to the Peter Pan brand on the shelves.
Market Crocodile peanut butter. Enclose a ticking clock. Insist that it be placed next to the Captain Hook brand on the shelves.
Put alternate layers of PB and butterscotch pudding in a jar. Market it as "Tiger Spread."
Johnny: Hey, what do you get if you cross an elephant and a peanut butter sandwich?
Tommy: I don't know. What?

Johnny: You get an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
Hold retainers in place.
Let your kitten play with it...
Leave it out and grow mold cultures for science class.
Take some PB along while you work on rewriting your term paper.
In Anglo-Saxon times, Peanut Butter was considered a magical, mysterious substance that either witches used, or mighty warriors ate before they slew dragons...
(PB + X) - (y + X)
Solve for Peanut Butter.
Do we have Mr. Peanut Butter Head yet?
Power Rangers got you down? Try Power Peanut Butter Rangers!
Bubble, bubble, Peanut Butter and trouble... From the little known first draft of MacBeth.
Cult of the Peanut Butter...
Newest health food: Peanut Margarine...
Cover your enemy in Peanut Butter, chunks of bread, and a slathering of jelly. Turn him loose to a pack of wild second graders...
Famous plays:
Peanut Butter and the Man
Desire under the Peanut Butter
MacPeanut Butter
Much Ado about Peanut Butter
Be a good parent: Name your kids after brands of Peanut Butter. Works especially well with off brands.
"Okay, everybody know what to do?"
"Yes, sir."
"Alright. Synchronize your peanut butter."
Take out your frustrations on peanut butter. It feels nothing, so you can hit it and hit it and...
Give me freedom or give me peanut butter!
Maniacal laughter is so much more effective with a little peanut butter stuck to the vocal cords.
Smear on sibling's homework.
Write a witty, humorous, mostly absurd and rediculous History of Peanut Butter. Market it as a text book.
We already know that matter is a structured form of energy. Some have hypothesized that maybe time is a structured form of space. What they don't know is that both are really just a structured form of peanut butter...
Instead of advertising milk, the United Dairy Farmers should advertise peanut butter, and then demand for milk would increase automatically!
Hey, how come Kraft doesn't make "Peanut Butter and Macaroni"?
"There's a hole in the peanut butter jar, dear Liza, dear Liza, there's a hole in the peanut butter jar, dear Liza, a hole."
"Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, ..."
Drown your kid brother's Furbie in peanut butter when it gets too annoying.
Mix peanut butter with mutagen ooze and feed it to any small animal you can find.
42 is a silly answer. I think Peanut Butter is the answer to life, the universe, and everything. I'm still not sure about the question...
"Pardon me, sir, but do you have any Grey Peanut Butter?"
"But of course."
Nobody will guess that your computer password is really "Pnut-B8er".
Put a lump of peanut butter on your tongue. Smile all day. People will know you're crazy.
Forget about the lump of peanut butter and just smile all day. This is especially effective in New York City.
Always sign your name as "Peanut Butter". If anybody questions you, say "No, that doesn't say peanut butter. You're not reading it right. See, there's the [First letter of your name here]..."
Toasted toes taste terriffic with peanut butter.
Be original. Use Beanut Putter instead.
Snake bait.
The catapult is obsolete. The steam engine has been outdone. Atari 2600 is no longer current. But peanut butter will always be new.
"It's just a flesh wound."
"A flesh wound? Your peanut butter's off!"

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