PB2K: Uses 401-500

Uses 401-500

Attach it to your Application for Student Teaching as "evidence" that you are qualified.
Use it to make your drawing of Mortimer Mae more colorful and realistic.
Prosthetic Appendix
Inquiring minds want to know: How do the candidates stand on peanut butter? -- "Peanut Butter to the People!"
"Back in my day we didn't HAVE so much peanut butter. Peanut butter was for Sunday dinner ONLY."
Make peanut butter the .6 so you can have the national average of 2.6 children.
Wear it under sackcloth for extra comfort.
Spread it on Graham crackers & dunk them in chocolate milk.
Cover Barney with Peanut Butter and put him in a room full of ducks.
Feed Peanut Butter to the ducks at Winona Lake.
Use it as glue for your hairpiece.
Special effects makeup!
Hats for the blind.
Coats for the poor.
Computer engineer's diet.
Add jelly and make the pope's favorite snack.
Burn as your favorite incense.
Use as healing salve.
Recess peanut butter pasties (pasties are a Michigan thing -- a one-dish meal almost like stew wrapped up in a bread-like shell.)
Put it on the teacher's chair.
Put peanut butter in someone's drink as a practical joke.
Make peanut butter "buckeye" candies with Tear Jerkers in the middle. Serve at a party.
Coat the toilet seat with peanut butter.
Place a large glob of it on top of Jello. Now... jiggle it -- just a little bit...
Use it to soothe wounds incurred while participating in Full Contact Fly Fishing.
Use it to convince Naomi to stay out of the Marines.
If you want to force someone to stick around place peanut butter between the heels of his shoes to prevent him from going home. (c.f. Wizard of Oz)
Juggle it.
Coat your shoes with it to keep them from getting wet on a rainy day.
Use it as a unifying device by getting several people to all concentrate on one task -- thinking of uses for peanut butter.
Use it instead of a money clip.
Stuff it in the nostrils of all those bullies that used to pick on you in jr. high. Yeah, you remember them....
Pretend you're a blind man and sell it on the street corner to make a living.
Use it to wax your surf board.
Use it instead of grip tape on your skateboard.
Put a little on the network cables on library lab computers so they won't come loose and bring the whole system crashing down... again.
To fill the spare time in your day eat spoonfuls of it while trying to come up with a list of 1000 things to do with the stuff...
"We've secretly replaced Tom's usual coffee with peanut butter..."
Peanut butter: the next best thing to your vacuum cleaner!
Alternative punishment: don't spank your child; secure him to the ceiling with peanut butter.
When the world runs out of toilet paper turn peanut butter into a pulp and process it...
Make a list of 10 REALLY FUNNY things to do with it and send it to Letterman.
Tired of letter bombs? Try peanut butter bombs!
New mutant ability: plug one nostril and shoot stream of PB out the other one.
Little known fact: when Spidey runs out of web fluid he uses peanut butter in his web shooters.
It's also how he REALLY sticks to walls.
If you lose a button from your shirt replace it with peanut butter.
If you run out of the stuffing for sausages fill those intestines with peanut butter instead. Peanut Butter is so much tastier than blood anyhow.
Use a Peanut Butter/Anti Peanut Butter reaction (also known as a PB/SPAM reaction) to power your warp core.
You put your PB in, you put your PB out; you put your PB in and you shake it all about...
Anyone for Peanut Butter Hotcakes? Call McDonald's immediately; this is an even better idea than lettuce sauce!
http://www.peanut_butter.com/
ftp://ftp.peanut_butter.edu/mirrors/bin/pb/
Use it to seed clouds in February so as to create extra snow days.
Put little bits of it in your cassette player to create neat distortions of sound when you play your music.
Use it to lubricate your mouse's tracking ball to eliminate pesky "jumping."
Look for references to peanut butter on LOCIS.
The yahoo index really needs another major category. Right beside "education" and entertainment, now there is "peanut butter"!
Place a glop of peanut butter in Barney's pocket. Have him arrested for carrying a concealed weapon.
Coat Barney with peanut butter and lock him in a room full of rabid Chihuahuas.
Thicken peanut butter enough to make a suit of armor.
Peanut butter -- the pottery you can eat!
Out of dilithium? Use peanut butter!
The latest in sound recording technology: digital audio peanut butter.
Spread it on rancid pizza to revive its tastiness.
Devise a code whereby you can send messages to your friends using peanut butter.
Draw a large dart board on your wall with different point areas. Coat a small furry animal with peanut butter and toss him from across the room. Each person gets three tosses per turn. Last person to 500 points gets to give the dog a bath.
If you have milk in the refrigerator that goes out of date soon, use peanut butter to make yourself thirsty so that you can drink it all.
Fill your industrial music band's banjo with it to alter the sound.
Use it as a shield to protect you from the BILYS Quad or the Banjo Quad.
Give away free jars of peanut butter to get people to leave the Earth and go to Chia Earth (apologies to the Brain.)
"Momma always said life is like a jar of peanut butter..."
Spread it on the blades of a venetian blind. Insects will stick to the blind when they go to the window. Also, when the blind is closed, the peanut butter will improve its light-blocking abilities; when the blind is open, the peanut butter will cause the light to bend slightly, enhancing the spectrum.
Repack your bicycle bearings with peanut butter instead of grease.
Replace your mud mask.
Two words: Mustache wax!
Use it as a contraceptive.
Waterproof your boots with it.
Use it as a bathing suit in a Miss America pageant.
Use PB to replace the filament on your three-way light bulb.
Use it to clog your tear ducts.
Makes great Windows Wallpaper.
Cross-post messages about it to alt.fan.limbaugh and alt.feminism to see if you can Spam Usenet.
Clean your CD-ROM drive.
Use it to pay your ISP bill.
Rdev your linux kernel image to use peanut butter as the root filesystem.
Coat an entire acre with it from edge to edge. Have NASA do studies to see if it's visible from space. Enlarge the coated area until it is visible from space.
Erect a national monument to the world's largest peanut butter sandwich.
Write a piece of interactive fiction all about adventures with peanut butter.
Make peanut butter preserves.
Roll finger-sized pieces of it in sand and leave them in your neighbor's sandbox to stimulate his anger toward neighborhood cats.
Run your Virtual Peanut Butter program in a DOS emulator running on an Apple // emulator written in Inform and running in WinFrotz on a Windows 3 emulator running on a Macintosh. Have Virtual Peanut Butter sticky-races with your friend who is running his VPB on a TADS interpreter for the Macintosh, running on a Mac emulator written in Visual Basic running out of Windows 95 running through Wine out of Linux on a 386 emulator running on an Acorn Archimedes.
Makes great main dish for dinner the day after Thanksgiving.
Devote one entire bookshelf to it in your personal library.
Use it when you run out of silk screen ink.
Waterproof your hairdo.
Mix with antifreeze to prevent boil-overs in hot, stop-and-go traffic.
Replace the sand in your Ant Colony.
Staple it.
Staple it to the Jell-O you just nailed to the wall.

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